Fix Me
by Bomb-With-an-Accent
Summary: It takes more than drugs and therapy to fix someone who is broken. It takes love. It takes care. It takes genuine smiles. It takes the tears of past pain. What would you do for someone you love? Would you be there? Would you die for them? Would you die with them? It takes two people to love. It takes two halves to make a whole. It takes two people to fix each other.


A/N: Hello, my lovelies! I kind of had an idea, so I just rolled with it. It is a sadstuck, but I hope y'all enjoy.

Guys? Guys, what the fuck have I written?

* * *

_Fix Me_

I know what it is like to be motherfucking insane. Every second of every day, I know that motherfucking feeling.

They won't motherfucking let me all up and forget it, either.

They remind me of what I did to them. What I did to my friends.

None of them even pretend to motherfucking care about me.

They don't try.

They can't fix me.

Honk.

Honk.

These pills they give me are motherfucking mirthful miracles.

She visits me everyday to give them to me, but she cries those beautiful little spheres of fuchsia when she leaves, every time.

Did I do something wrong?

She says no.

Feferi Peixes cries her motherfucking tears of fuchsia, the color of her mirthful blood.

That's her name, Feferi.

She talks to me, trying to keep me sane, to make me feel wanted.

It works.

Maybe she does motherfucking care.

Maybe she can fix me.

HoNk.

hOnK.

She's the only one who motherfucking gives a shit about me. She smiles and tells me it will all be chill, that I shouldn't all up and worry.

I don't worry. I don't because I motherfucking can't. It's all like I can't feel anymore. All I feel is motherfucking numb, except to her touch.

She sometimes tenderly caresses my face and hugs me, whispering reassuring things in my ear all the while. I get all up and motherfucking fuzzy inside when she does that.

It is a little miracle that wells up in my heart when she touches me.

When she leaves, the warmth goes with her.

A ghost lingers, reminding me of her.

Lost in a blank white landscape with no motherfucking colors.

It is only when she visits that there is any motherfucking color in my world at all.

I can't be fixed, can I?

honk.

honk.

She smuggles me my wicked elixir sometimes, and she smiles when I get all up and happy. It keeps me fucking calm.

I mean when Feferi smiles.

I don't have that miraculous urge to cull these motherfuckers.

She is fixing me.

Honk.

honK.

Today, she comes in my block weeping. Weeping that motherfucking beautiful color worthy of the mirthful messiahs.

She sits down next to me where I am seated on the floor.

She throws her arms around my neck and presses her body against mine almost motherfucking desperately.

What's wrong with my bitchtits sis?

Did I do something again?

She shakes her head and buries her face in the crook of my neck.

I feel that sudden flare inside me, consuming me.

What is it?

She is trembling like she's motherfucking cold, so I hug her back and slowly rock her back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

I wipe those divine tears from her face with my thumb gently and grin at her.

Everything's motherfucking chill.

She shakes her head again and looks down, mumbling something.

What, sis?

She looks up.

Pain is suffused in her miraculous fuchsia eyes. The pain of loosing someone. The pain of knowing.

I need to fix her.

HONK.

honk.

I lean forward.

She meets me halfway with fervor.

Our lips meet, melding together as if the mirthful messiahs made us especially for each other.

I hold her, and I stroke her long black hair with one hand. I wrap my other arm around her small waist.

She places both of her hands on either side of my face, drawing me closer.

She withdraws after a moment of mirthful bliss. Where did that miraculous feeling go?

Come back.

You can fix me.

honk.

HONK.

She holds something in her hand. There are two motherfucking somethings there.

Two small black pills.

Those aren't my motherfucking normal white pills.

What are those, motherfucker?

Her eyes flash angrily, but not at me. A tempest rages in her fuchsia depths.

They want to take you away from me. There is venom in her sweet voice.

What do you mean?

Those motherglubbers want to cull you. A black hatred blooms inside her for them.

Why?

No answer. There is silence. She clenches her fist. There is defiance burning inside her.

I won't let them.

I wonder what she means.

She looks at me, passion in her eyes. Love.

Gamzee, my love? Would you be mine?

…Matesprit?

Motherfucking yes, sis. Forever.

Forever.

It was a motherfucking miracle.

I am motherfucking flushed for Feferi, the only one who ever motherfucking wanted me. I love her.

She loves me.

She fixed me.

HONK.

HONK.

She pushes one of the pills into my hand.

Her eyes glitter like my special stardust.

She is so motherfucking beautiful.

Together?

She raises the remaining pill in her hand to her lips.

I understand.

Wait motherfucking matesprit. I want to do some shit first.

She smiles sorrowfully and obliges my request.

I bite my wrist, drawing forth a miraculous amount of my mirthful purple blood.

I smear it on the white floor, making a half of a heart. It is a motherfucking beautiful painting.

It is not as beautiful as her, though.

It never will be.

She knows what I want.

She hesitantly bites her own arm, letting fuchsia liquid well up in the laceration.

She then applies it onto that motherfucking blank canvas of floor next to mine.

A heart, fuchsia and purple, is whole.

At last.

We stare at each other for what seemed to me like a motherfucking sweep.

One last kiss.

One last embrace.

One last caress.

One last murmur of profound love.

HOnk.

hoNK.

She swallows the pill.

I quickly swallow mine, too.

She lets fall her tears once more. I hold her tightly against me, and I kiss the crown of her head as the world becomes hazy around us. Nothing motherfucking matters anymore besides her.

We lay down.

She and I have our arms around each other.

We lay next to our colorful heart. Her eyes grow dim, but she smiles one last time.

Her final words are so miraculously beautiful.

I needed those words.

You fixed me.

I am motherfucking sinking, going under, and never resurfacing to her lovely face.

I use my final moment to tell her something that I had needed to say for so long.

Just before we both left our mortal shells behind, I spoke.

You fixed me, too.

Our hearts stilled, our eyes glazed over.

Purple and fuchsia blood leak from our cuts, fusing together. It makes the most miraculous color.

We smile. We smile for each other.

Even in death.

We fixed each other.

* * *

I do not really ship Feferi and Gamzee, but I suddenly had inspiration for this, oddly enough. This is the most random thing I have ever written, I must admit. Please tell me if it was satisfactory.


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